Friday, June 4, 2010

Flashlight & Baby Steps

While on the beach last weekend, we splurged and purchased both kids their very own flashlight to use as we searched for crabs in the late, dark evenings.  Though, I'm sure it is possible to crab-hunt without a flashlight, it gave at least a little comfort knowing where you were about to step.  After a few minutes of crab-hunting, Austin was tired of the whole flashlight thing, and I was given his little light.  So, I began to shine it in front of my feet as I walked.  Though the light did help me to see, I could see no more than one step ahead of where I was.  I couldn't see 5 feet ahead to prepare for large holes approaching, crabs burrowed in the sand ahead, or broken shells that could be stepped on.  All I knew was that the next baby step taken was O.K. to make...that for one more step, my feet would be safe from all possible unknown dangers. 

God has brought this back to mind constantly over the past week, as I have daily had to put aside my desire for control, or the illusion of control in my family's life.  Has God ever failed to provide the needs of my family?  NO.  Have I ever, in hindsight, see that God's plan was not the best for us?  NODo I trust that God will take care of all of the details we're currently dealing with while selling, moving, and everything else involved?  YES...and noYou see, until now, I've trusted God to guide us, provide for us, and use us for His glory, but I've always had some sort of illusion of control that in my human mind could be used to fall back on, "just in case".  What faith is thatNot very good faith...

God has been and is continuing to use our current situations to teach me what it really  means to have true faith, complete trust in Him and Him alone.  He doesn't always show us where we'll be in 5 years, 5 months, or even 5 days, but He does provide for us as we need it.  My human "want-to-be-in-control" type nature begs for a spotlight to be shown on the road ahead of our family...what choices we'll need to they will work out, etc.  But, my loving God is answering with a small, child-sized flashlight that shows me one tiny baby step that He has directed for us to take in faith, knowing that He will continue to provide each babystep of the way.  And that's hard!  But you know what?  It feels great, too!  I want my faith to grow...I want to sincerely trust Him with every detail, big or small, in my life, and know without a shadow of a doubt that He will do what's best for us...every time.