Here's a few things I've heard myself saying lately...
You did see a rhino at the zoo the other day, but it wasn't a red rhino like in your book because rhinos aren't supposed to be red. I know they made it red in your book, but that is just a book and is not real. They like to make things colorful in books. I'm sorry that you can't see a real red rhino, but maybe you could look for a real red bird or something else.
No, I do not want you bathe your brother. Mommy will take care of that. He does not want you to touch him either. And, please stop dumping the water over his head. You don't like it and neither does he. Enjoy your bath and keep your hands to yourself please. Thank you!
I don't know why there is a donkey living with those cows. I suppose they liked keeping both animals, so they let them all enjoy the grass together. That's not it? Oh! The cows are watching the donkey while they look for his family? Oh, that makes sense...perhaps they will find the other donkey family soon.
Would you both please quit saying "uh-oh"?! I know the commercials are playing instead of the movie...I know this isn't what you chose to watch...but i know your movie will be on in a moment. Please stop saying "uh-oh" over and over and over again while I'm driving!
Please stop using the horse to hit your sister...or the floor...or the tv...or the wall. You either ride the horse the right way, or the horse will go away for a very long time.
Stop hitting yourself! Why? Because it's showing anger the wrong way...it hurts yourself...and I don't like to see you do it. We don't hit anyone...not even ourselves!